Read the exact story — “If the Refrigerator Wins, We’ll Order Pizza”
On Saturday morning, Carlos decided to clean his apartment. This was unusual because Carlos believed that dust was a protective layer for furniture. “If I finish cleaning before noon, I’ll invite everyone over for dinner,” he announced. His roommate, Ben, looked around the living room. “If you finish cleaning before noon, I’ll eat this broom.”
Carlos ignored him. He picked up three socks, found seven dollars under the couch, and discovered a sandwich that may have belonged to a previous tenant. “If this sandwich moves, I’ll call a scientist,” Ben said. The sandwich did not move, but Carlos threw it away anyway. He was feeling ambitious.
At eleven thirty, the living room looked almost normal. Carlos sent a message to his friends: “Dinner at seven! If you come, I’ll cook my famous vegetable soup.” His friend Maya immediately replied, “If you cook, I’ll bring medicine.” Carlos was offended. He had cooked many times. Of course, most of those meals had involved a microwave, but he understood the basic idea. If food got hot, it was probably ready.
At six o’clock, Carlos opened the refrigerator and examined the ingredients. He had two carrots, half an onion, a lemon, some cheese, and a mysterious green vegetable. “If I add enough water, this will become soup,” he thought. Ben entered the kitchen. “What is that green thing?” “I think it’s a zucchini.” “If it has legs, it isn’t a zucchini.” Carlos inspected it carefully. It did not have legs, so he added it to the pot.
Soon, their friends arrived. Maya brought bread. Jamal brought a salad. Nina brought a cake. “Why did everyone bring food?” Carlos asked. “Because if your soup is terrible, we’ll need a backup plan,” Maya explained. Carlos tasted the soup. It was not terrible. It was worse than terrible. It tasted like warm lemon water with confused vegetables. “Maybe it needs salt,” he said. “If you add more salt, we’ll need a lifeguard,” Ben warned.
Carlos added cheese instead. The cheese formed one large ball in the middle of the pot. Jamal stared at it. “If that thing climbs out, I’m leaving.” Carlos tried to remove the cheese ball with a spoon, but it escaped and rolled across the kitchen floor. Everyone jumped out of its way. “If it reaches the door,” Nina shouted, “don’t let it outside!” Ben trapped it under a mixing bowl. “We’ve got it,” he said. “Unless it learns how to lift the bowl, we’re safe.”
At that moment, the refrigerator began making a loud knocking sound. Carlos froze. “What’s that?” “If it’s another cheese ball, I’ll move to a different city,” Maya said. Carlos opened the refrigerator. A bottle of sparkling water had fallen behind a shelf and was shaking violently. He picked it up. “Don’t open that,” everyone said. Carlos smiled. “If I open it slowly, nothing will happen.”
He opened it slowly. Something happened. Sparkling water exploded across the kitchen. It hit the ceiling, the walls, the guests, and the trapped cheese ball. Nina’s cake survived only because Jamal protected it with his body. For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Finally, Ben wiped water from his face. “If you ever say ‘nothing will happen’ again, I’ll hide every bottle opener in this apartment.” Carlos looked at the soup, the wet kitchen, and the bowl imprisoning the cheese. “So,” he said, “if I order pizza, will everyone stay?” “Unless you cook the pizza yourself,” Maya replied.
Carlos ordered three pizzas. They ate in the newly cleaned living room while the refrigerator continued knocking suspiciously. “If it opens by itself,” Jamal said, “we’ll sell the apartment.” Carlos nodded. “And if someone buys it, I’ll include the soup for free.”